mercoledì 21 novembre 2012

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 Il mio articolo per la nuova rivista nata dalla passione dei ciclisti dell'altotevere


L'altra metà del cielo...a due ruote
di Romina Perugini

Capita un giorno, di punto in bianco, che decidi di fare una cosa e la fai! Le donne sono così: vogliono cucinare un dolce proprio di domenica pomeriggio e non hanno niente in casa? Sono capaci di farsi 50km a costo di trovare un supermercato aperto. Per poi tornare poggiare la spesa in cucina e pensare che "...oggi mi va il salato...". Le donne sono tipe decise: se si impongono di fare la dieta, non fanno una cosa normale come gli esseri umani, no, tolgono tutto, pane, pasta, carne, aria... Se optano per la palestra faranno certamente un abbonamento per tre anni con addebito su conto corrente. 
Le donne sono fatte così, quando si mettono in testa qualcosa non le smuovi e se una donna si innamora della bici sono volatili per diabetici!
In realtà, come tutte le passioni folli, che colpiscono senza preavviso e con una forza disarmante, andare in bicicletta è una questione scevra da distinzioni genetiche. Voglia e desiderio rapiscono indistintamente. Ma la lingua dell'amore beh...ognuno ha la propria. E la donna in bici come nella vita, mostrerà in tutto e per tutto che l'unica cosa che può avere in comune col maschio di Homo Sapiens è semplicemente una costola adamitica.
In questo ambito sarà bene distinguere la biker dalla stradista, puntando i riflettori sulla prima, in quanto la seconda specialista delle due ruote solitamente si approccia fin da piccola alla disciplina caratterizzata da poche delle peculiarità che al contrario contraddistinguono la mountain bike (mtb).
Eccoci giunti al punto: una biker va in mtb. Solitamente lo fa perchè è stato un uomo a portarcela la prima volta. Sarà difficilissimo trovare una donna che incoraggi una sua simile nel seguire il proprio esempio, per un semplice motivo: questioni di territorialità. Nell'ambiente a due ruote si respira un'aria molto maschile, ma mai maschilista fortunatamente, ove la femmina di ciclista viene lodata sia per la tenacia che per come rende bene la calzamaglia attillata sul posteriore. Ella fingerà di sentirsi in imbarazzo nell'ascoltare particolari apprezzamenti, in realtà potrete vederla levitare in aria come David Copperfield sopra il Grand Canyon. 
Nei primi approcci, dolci colleghe dalle gambe relativamente pelose, potremmo incappare in momenti dove un linguaggio estremamente tecnico rischierà di fuorviarci: se ad esempio ci verrà consigliato di portare in avanti la prostata sarà utile analizzare la situazione. Appurato che qualcuno non ci abbia rapito nel sonno e portato in una clinica specializzata in Brasile, sarà opportuno considerare che la prostata non è propedeutica alla mtb, ma che in salita, nei tratti più ostici, spostare il bacino in avanti potrebbe far la differenza.
Ad ogni buon conto, per una prostata in meno, avremo un problema in più: l'abbronzatura. Non ci si pensa fin quando non ci si battono i denti. Al momento di indossare il bikini in spiaggia vi troverete, carissime colleghe, come se qualcuno vi avesse trapiantato braccia e gambe di un'africana, come un muratore in cannottiera permanente. Nessun lettino solare o doccia ad ultravioletti ovvierà il problema, neanche se fate brillare una bomba H in camera sarete in grado di pareggiare il segno della vostra passione. Unica soluzione sarebbe smettere: ma voi non siete il tipo e proprio a tal proposito, quando la voglia aumenta e la passione monta, il portafogli cala. Presto l'esemplare maschio di ciclista vi istigherà all'upgrade del mezzo a due ruote. Vi parleranno di leggerezza, performance, meccanica, fisica, velocità. Tireranno in ballo mille termini incomprensibili, si riempiranno la bocca di sigle e acronimi dei più svariati. Non avrete orecchie per le loro suppliche: una sola sarà la caratteristica fondamentale che la vostra nuova bici dovrà possedere per rendere migliori le vostre pedalate: il colore! Passeranno gli anni, diverrete biker esperte, ma mai nessuno vi toglierà dalla testa che una bici esteticamente perfetta può solo far andare più forte! Tutto il resto passa in secondo piano. Va da sè che l'abbigliamento tecnico segue i medesimi crismi coi quali discriminate un mezzo dall'altro. Ricordarsi che il nero sfina e le righe orizzontali ingrossano. E che c'è un mondo di accessori colorati là fuori che vi aspetta: guanti, caschi, bandane, giacche, gilet, calze, short, top, collant, reggicalze...no beh, non esageriamo. E le scarpe! Ah le scarpe, il cancro delle donne. Per sceglierle potreste metterci dei mesi, ma è tempo ben speso. A livello ciclistico non cambia molto, ma mentre pedali le guardi, le ammiri, le adori. Sono il tuo contatto col mondo e le numerose abitanti che colonizzano i tuoi armadi. Se l'imbarazzo della scelta dei gadget non ti provoca alcun disagio, qualche piccolo cruccio potrebbe creartelo la meccanica mia cara faticatrice col rimmel. L'unica soluzione agli inconvenienti meccanici, e in mtb saranno moltissimi, è il seguente: fregatene altamente. Non ne capisci niente e se mai proverai a capirne qualcosa riuscirai solo a peggiorare la situazione. Se proprio devi azzardare, limitati alla sostituzione di una gomma, ma rammenta che rischierai di spezzarti un'unghia. Per il resto usa il medesimo sguardo che sfrutti con la municipale quando ti colgono con due ruote a cavallo del marciapiede e altre due dentro il passo carrabile dell'ambulanza. Se funziona con loro figurati con qualche biker cavaliere e sicuro della sua atavica capacità di aggiustatutto. Per quanto tale metodica sia collaudata è consigliabile avere con sè un telefonino e qualcuno a casa disposto al recupero superstiti. Per ora stai muovendo i primi passi in un universo nuovo, mistico e sconosciuto: per goderne dovrai prima trovare la tua dimensione al suo interno. La perfetta e catartica esplorazione di esso avverrà in un secondo momento comprendendo che la bici non è altro che un mezzo elementare, solo un tramite per dar vita ad un carnevale di curiosità e sensazioni.








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